Finding Home: The Art of Aligned Spaces
The concept of home is a mildly elusive thing. For some people it is the address one puts on legal forms, or the place that stores all your stuff, or the space you get to occupy when not at work or out in the world. But places that earn the moniker of “home” are the spaces we can truly and deeply be ourselves within, and not every dwelling lives up to that title. I’ve lived in more houses than homes over my life, and the act of turning house into home includes more than a Pinterest board or an IKEA shopping run.
The importance of domestic spaces extends beyond just a place where we spend much of our lives, as they are often psychologically and spiritually charged spaces, either working towards our betterment or our detriment. They reflect back to us our values, our preferences, and who we think we are. They create literal space for us to pursue our interests and joys, or they limit us by keeping life fixed in old and outdated versions of ourselves. So much can be contained within something as simple as a wall color or couch choice, but often we are so “within” our spaces that it can become difficult to see them clearly, or to recognize the effect they are having on us.
It is this concept of home that I want to chat about briefly, and offer some guidance on, as many of us are looking to build more aligned lives, yet forget about the impact that the very spaces we inhabit have on us and our capacity to be our full selves. Where you live and how you live deeply matters.
How do we see our spaces clearly? And how do we create this thing called “home”?
My Love of Space
I am writing this as someone who is currently home-less. I’ve spent the last two years of my life in a nomadic phase, partially of my own choosing and partially due to circumstance. Post-divorce I packed up my few things into a small storage unit and bought a one way ticket, and then a year later I got rid of that storage unit and most of its larger contents since I’d come to realize I wouldn’t be needing any of those things I had saved “just in-case” I was going to settle down soon. So I’ve mostly been living in other people’s spaces or in liminal non-places like hotels and rentals and spare rooms, and oddly enough I think this time has equipped me more than most to talk about the energy of space.
Between stays with friends and family, or pet sits and shared Airbnb rentals, I’ve come to know that every space holds secret knowledge about those living within it, and how they’ve come to organize their lives. There’s always a trick with the door, a trick with the light switch, a trick with the toilet handle. “Just jiggle the window like this.” “We always leave this light on.” “Let me show you how that works.” Insights born from intimacy and repetition, but also a specific rhythm of life. A lot can be gleaned by noticing both the grooves in the carpet and the dust on the bookshelf, or the crooked step no one has fixed, the signs of use and disuse equally revealing the way life flows through this particular place. Maybe I should create a new offering: show me your closet or pantry, and I’ll tell you about yourself.
In addition to this more recent turn of events, I have a long history of space loving & tending. I was raised by a thwarted would-be architect - my mother being told by her father that architecture was a man’s field and she should find something else to do - which meant our family outings included going to home shows and open houses, taking drives around neighborhoods just to look at the various building styles and garden layouts, and visiting the library to check out books of floor plans to flip through and collectively comment on (“I love the wrap around porch, but why would anyone put the utility room there!?”).
From a young age I made sure to always have a notebook of graph paper handy to sketch out new house plans or an interior design schematic whenever a fresh idea hit. One of my favorite and most useful classes from university was an elective course on Environmental Psychology. And to this day what I consider my “guilty pleasure” reads are books about interiors, be it on home organizing, feng shui, or more philosophical and psychological explorations on domestic space.
There were multiple times as a young adult, often when I was mid existential crisis, that I considered going back to school to get licensed in home or interior design. Yet I am very grateful that during one of these life-questioning moments a branding client hired me to design the interior of their project, a local dive bar turned cantina, which was immensely rewarding and also eye-opening. Even though the project was fun, it turned out that curating an interior for clients was not going to scratch the itch I was having. Because I did not want simply to design nice spaces or implement “my” vision, but I wanted others to understand the energetic impact inherent in how we design and live in our material world. But hey, if you visit Monkey’s Tail in Houston, TX, I used feng shui and color theory to the best of my abilities.
This interest of mine has also led me down the rabbit holes of urban design, housing inequality, and home restoration. I have a lot of anger towards those who have turned housing into a financial asset above a human need and who have allowed cities to become car-centric and business first hellscapes. I wish more architects and urban planners implemented the wealth of very available knowledge we already have on inclusive design and environmental psychology, not to mention eco-friendly building practices, instead of building soulless boxes again and again and again. (For those interested in the urban planning rabbit hole, I would recommend the YouTube channel Not Just Bikes as a great gateway into the holy anger I am talking about.)
We have so many resources now to create aligned and beautiful and equitable spaces for ourselves and our communities, but often it is a lack of care and a disbelief in the importance of space that keep us stuck in the same patterns of behavior and experience. But I do believe that learning how to better live within our personal spaces will naturally help us begin to value the need for livable collective spaces as well.
Space Basics
So with my credentials out of the way, here are a few things I wish everyone knew about the spaces we inhabit, and how maybe we can live in them better.
Everything has energy. Yes, everything. Your broken toaster and overfull linen closet and the old photo album collecting dust all are actively contributing to the energy of your space. Now firstly don’t start freaking out or running around chucking things into the donation bin, though maybe you can do that later. Instead I’d invite you just to start noticing what energy your items are giving off.
Look at a chair in the room and ask yourself, “How does this chair feel? How would I describe its energy? And what does its energy convey to me right now?” Maybe it is good, maybe it is bad, maybe it is neutral, but whatever it is, the first sign is recognizing the energy that is present in your things. Only then can we begin to know what to tend to or what to get rid of in our spaces.
(The animist in me would suggest we go one step further though, that every item in your house actually has consciousness and a spiritual component as well, but tread that direction only if you feel comfortable.)
We are just fancy nature. We often like to think of ourselves as “above” nature, somehow separate and more refined than our animal counterparts, and we often treat our spaces as a place to prove that. But at the end of the day, we are meant to be fulfilling our animal needs in our spaces.
We need to nourish ourselves with food: Can you do that effectively within your space? We need to safely rest in a secure shelter: Do you feel safe and able to regulate your nervous system within your home? We need to clean and care for our physical bodies: Is your washroom, bathroom, or closets set up to do that well? And not unlike animals, we need exposure to natural light, clean air, and to visually see plant life: Can you increase your access to outside spaces or bring more natural elements into your own space? Leaning into our animals needs, not away from them, will make for spaces that actually serve us well.
You have too much stuff. Unless you are like me, living out of a suitcase, or are in an equally transitionary set of circumstances, AND you happen to live in the western world, there is a good chance that the problem isn’t that you don’t have the right things but that you have too many things. Capitalist culture promotes overconsumption and social status through new purchases, and many of us have inadvertently fallen victim to the belief that our next purchase will save us.
So no, chances are you don’t need a new organising system or the next gadget, but to remove from your space what no longer serves you. Decluttering does not have to go so far as austere minimalism, but begin to notice what areas of your home feel bloated or even claustrophobic and start there. Even just removing a couple outdated pieces of clothing or culling your book collection by a few titles you never intend to read again can be energetically uplifting and is thus creating more space for the things you do enjoy now. (And to note, I still think I have too much in my suitcase, so truly the journey of decluttering never stops.)
A clean space is better than a well designed space. There is a reason feng shui warns against blocked up sinks and dust bunnies under beds, because what is good for safe and effective living is also good for your energy as well. And just in case no one has told you this, you deserve a clean and safe space to live within, period.
Determine how much effort and time you can give to maintaining your space, and if needed use this as a guide to help make other house-related decisions. If something is difficult to clean, is it worth keeping? If a space is too big to keep clean, is it time to ask for help or even downsize?
And of course very real issues can arise around who is doing the majority of domestic labor, often women and femmes, to which I would recommend exploring the Fair Play system or following Laura Danger on socials for helpful resources in navigating care disparity within the home. Living in a thriving ecosystem requires some level of mutual contribution, and space tending, cleaning, and clearing is one of the ways we ensure our home environments stay both physically and energetically healthy for all invovled.
Explore new spaces to better live in yours. I deeply believe in the power of new experiences, cultural exchange, and travel as ways to expand our sense of self-knowledge. Maybe your ideal way of living in your space isn’t actually how you were raised or what was normalized in your culture, but can be found in the homes and lifestyle of others near and far.
Traveling to other places can be very inspiring and transformative, but even just renting a house in a nearby town for the weekend can be stimulating enough to consider new lifestyle possibilities once you return home. But if travel is not possible, take time to notice what you like about your friend’s spaces, watch foreign films, explore Pinterest, or use your astrocartography to guide you towards interior inspiration (fyi, look to your Venus & Moon MC lines, or just book me for a session).
Ultimately, your space should feel like you. To quote the great William Morris, try to “have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” Reduce your home down to the things you enjoy and that support your living, and freely release all that is not “you” anymore. Homes are not meant to be showrooms or places of social politics, but rather a personal sanctuary for your own soul.
Creating an aligned space is not always going to be the trendiest thing, but it will be deeply nourishing and life affirming. What would be the most useful to you right now? And what do you find beautiful? Start by asking yourself these questions, and an aligned space is sure to follow.
Making A Home
Now again the irony is not lost on me that a nomadic person is writing about the importance of an aligned home space or how to create one. But truly the act of living without a home has been deeply informative for re-establishing the ways in which I hope to live in spaces for the rest of my life. It is like starting from a clean slate, and I am nothing but appreciative for this time of reorganising and reimagining. For instance, some things I have come to view as essentials for my future homes that I would not have known otherwise are lots of natural light, a good rice cooker, fluffy duvets, birdsong outside, a truly quiet place to work from, and a sunset view, ideally. To live beautifully and comfortably really may hinge on only a few simple thing.
Yet I did admit to a friend that I am almost overwhelmed now by the thought of owning things again, just because I think I would be emotionally overjoyed all the time. To have a mug I enjoy, that I chose, that feels precious to me - and to get to use it everyday!? Literal tears come to my eyes. How lucky we are to own these beautiful and helpful things, and what an honor it is to do life alongside our chosen material possessions in spaces we chose and adorn ourselves. Large swaths of history denied humans those pleasures, as many humans now also live without, and we would do best not to take for granted our abundance, at least while we have it.
But in the meantime I have determined how little it can take to create a sense of home. I think I travel fairly light for someone who spends 3-6 months at a time on the move, yet I have learned that it is worth the extra weight to have with me some personal touches: a little sunset lamp, my favorite hot sauces (cholula and sriracha for those curious), my tarot cards and a pocket worth of crystals, and the “good” hair conditioner, no matter how heavy. I also always make a point to fully unpack my bags when I am staying anywhere for longer than a couple nights, and use the time and space I am given to still enjoy my favorite activities, like journaling and reading and drinking coffee or gin. These are little ways in which I can create a sense of home, and a sense of “me,” no matter the country or space I might be in.
Because ultimately it isn’t the ideal space or the most perfectly aligned living room furniture that makes a space a home - it is me. Or you. Or us. We are the ones imbuing meaning, comfort, and safety into the spaces we inhabit. Through our daily care, daily rhythms, the relationships we maintain, and the passions we pursue, we are constantly fashioning homes around ourselves. You do not need four walls to make a home, but you do need intention, self-love, and to be relentlessly curious about your own version of soul alignment.
So here are some questions to ask yourself on your journey to finding your most aligned sense of home:
What daily rhythms must my space or life accommodate? What does my ideal morning or evening look like?
What are the interests, passions, and people I most enjoy and want to make space for in my life?
What are my “essentials” for a comfortable space or home? And what do I already know I could do without?
What areas of my space feel overwhelming, cluttered, or undesirable? What steps can I take to begin to change the energy around those areas?
What are the energies, sensations, or emotions that I want to be experiencing more regularly in my life? How can I imbue more of my living space and daily rhythms with those experiences?
What are three things I already know I could release or donate to create more space? What is one thing I’d like to add to my space or life and why?
When I think about the idea of “home” what words or feelings come to mind?
I am wishing you a home full of all you desire, and spaces that are clean and clear and so very “you.” And if you have a spare guest room, I would love to come stay.
Going Deeper
Since I have taken all this time to reaffirm my deep love for aligned spaces, I figured it is only natural that spirit wants me to keep moving in this direction. So I have created a slightly new offering called Soul Home Exploration, in which we’ll spend an hour simply focusing on this question of what types of spaces would be in your highest alignment. I’ll use your astrology natal chart, astrocartography chart, and Human Design chart, alongside intuitive insights and my own experiences with spaces to support you on this journey of creating an aligned space. This would be very helpful during times of moving or transition, or if you are having issues or making upgrades in your current space, and we can tailor our time together to address any pressing home related topics. Check out the new offering here, and I look forward to exploring your ideal space together.
I’ve also decided, a bit last minute to be fair, to host a class on The Energetics of House & Home, where I’ll teach you how to do what I do and use your astrology and Human Design placements to get a better understanding of what a soul aligned space would be for you. We’ll also talk about the metaphysical aspects of home creation and space tending, and will do some activities to connect to your current and future spaces. Limited space so I can really help jump into your charts with you. This coming Sunday, Aug 30th for 2 hrs, at 10am PT/12pm CT/1pm ET/6pm BT/7pm CET depending on your time zone, learn more here.
But for now, best of luck on finding your home, and sending you love from wherever I am in the world at the moment.
xxx,
l
